Give Men The Mic

It is akin to the ever growing male presence on the fashion scene but in recent years nothing has served as a greater emasculating entity than the rapid escalation of a repugnant female rap base.

I will be the first to vouch for the now classicism that artists such as Lil Kim, Missy Elliot and the talents they brought to hip hop, however these days a lavish serving of genital exposure with a side order of simplistic songwriting that will take you back to your 4th class poetry club have marred these ladies' work.

When talent turns to taciturn tracks filled with erotic symbolism that would put redtube to shame, it is time to hand these ladies their jacket from off the rack and send them in search of employment worthy of their meagre capacity.

A fact that goes without saying is that most, having read this, will already have conjured an encyclopedia of such artists but two stick out like a fly in the soup of this cesspool of talentless damsels. See if our trail of thought crosses paths:

IGGY AZALEA

There are three things I have learned from Iggy Azalea which I shall forever be indebted to her for:

1- Iggy Pop and Azalea flowers, two colossal forces in their own particular field, NEVER the twain should meet!

2- Her second album Million Dollar Misfits discusses the hardships of success. As worldwide issues go, it's almost up there with all the people who died during the 90's in Yugoslavia. We feel for you Iggy.

3- Attempts at bourgeoise dressing (such as the elegant black ensemble she sported at this years Brit Awards) don't cover up the tramp within. 

Please give up the day job Iggy. Tesco are opening a new hypermarket in the greater Dublin area, if you hop on the next Ryanair flight I may just put in a good word for you. 

M.I.A

She will always be a poor man's Beyonce and she has the credentials to prove it. It would be much appreciated if people didn't retort with a measly argument for her with the only hit she ever had, Paperplanes, as the cons far outweigh the pros.

 It really comes home regarding M.I.A when in 2008 she promoted the release of her album Kala during a concert tour entitled The People vs Money Tour. Don't ever try to relate to the little guy again M.I.A. Your botched attempts at a normal life are made all the more laughable by the net 3.5 million you have made off the idiocy of your songwriting.

It is true that in many cases, a female rapper has come from the same traumatic upbringing as most of the iconic male rappers we revel at today. The difference lies in the emphasis both place on what will eventually determine their career. 

So the next time you hear Tupac's awe-inspiring lyrics from If I die Tonight, played against Fergie's "My humps, my lovely lady lumps", please think twice about defining this article as chauvinistic dribble.